I don’t even know what to say to you right now. I don’t even understand how you can sit there and live with yourself. I don’t know how someone could throw away what we had so easily. And don’t try to argue and refute what I say. You didn’t even blink an eye. You left me a fucking note and broke up with me.
I hate you.
It sucks because I don’t actually hate you, but I want to. I don’t particularly like you right now though. Despite the love I have for you.
And how dare you accuse me of moving on. Do you know nothing about me Elise Fabray? I didn’t want anyone else but you. I was willing to raise your unborn, fatherless child because I loved you. You were just willing to throw me away. I could have moved on. Someone even tried to make a pass at me. All I did was push her away. She wasn’t you. No matter how much I tried to pretend she was you, she would never be you.
I wish you would stop having regrets and I wish you would stop telling me you loved me. I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you ever really loved anything in life Elise. Not anything that wasn’t yourself and your material items. It kills me, but I just don’t believe it. And why would I? Besides telling me you loved me, you have never given me a reason to believe in you. I tried. I tried so hard to just forget those feelings stabbing at my chest. Those little voices that said she will break you. I usually listen to myself and weigh my options. I must have calculated wrong.
That was harsh, but all I have wanted to do all summer was yell at you. And kiss you, but it is quite clear that is never happening again since you don’t want me. I’ve been cast aside and that is something I have to figure out how to deal with. Don’t worry. You stay in California. I’ll be in New York and we will probably never see each other again. I can’t ruin your life anymore.
… Why? Why would you name your son after me? He isn’t even mine.
I told you the baby was a boy though. Just sayin’.
You were never mine. I was a fool to think and believe you were, Elise Fabray. You will never belong to anybody. You are much too wild to be spoken for. To be in anybody’s possession. I don’t believe anything or any one person can ever tame you. You are a wild mustang, Elise. A beautiful, dark creature. Someone will love you again. Someone who deserves you more than the poor, fatherless boy from Tennessee. Someday, someone will love you. Just don’t tell them you named your son after me.
I still love you more than all the fish in the sea.
Parker David Evans